The Determination Recognition
by allanjay
Summary: Begins immediately after 8:24, the finale of season 8. Leonard and Penny are in the car headed to Las Vegas. Quickly involves Amy and Sheldon. For a different "take" on the resolution of the cliffhanger, see my "Incident on Interstate 15."
1. Chapter 1

They drove along in silence, the tension palpable. After a while, Penny's phone pinged and she began texting busily, as Leonard winced with irritation. Then she dialed a number, only to hang up quickly.

"Leonard," Penny said, "we need to go back."

Leonard sighed.

"Penny, look: I know I screwed up, yet again. And I understand if you don't want to get married tonight. But can't we at least try to have a nice weekend in Vegas?"

"That's not it," Penny scowled. "You're right, you screwed up. And probably we shouldn't get married right now. But that's not why we need to go back."

"Why, then?" Leonard asked, now curious.

"Listen to this conversation I just had with Amy," Penny said with a worried tone, and read to him:

 _Amy:_ _Penny, can you come over? I really need to talk to someone._

 _Penny: Didn't Sheldon tell you? Leonard and I are on our way to Las Vegas to get married, or maybe not._

 _Amy: Sheldon and I aren't speaking. I told him tonight that I need some time apart to think about our relationship. Now I'm confused and upset and I really need to talk to someone._

 _Penny: Is Bernadette around?_

 _Amy: She and Howard took Stuart to a movie for his birthday. I really want to talk to you._

 _Penny: I'll call you right now._

 _Amy: Forget it. It really doesn't matter anymore._

 _Penny: Let me call you now._

 _Amy: Please don't. I deserve to be alone. Goodbye, Bestie._

"Whoa," said Leonard. "That's pretty dramatic, even for Amy. Did you try to call her?"

"It went right to voicemail. And did you notice something else?"

"What?" asked Leonard.

"I texted her that we were going to get married and she didn't even mention it. That's not like Amy. I'm worried. I think we need to check on her."

"OK," said Leonard, secretly relieved that they now had something to focus on together. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and handed it to Penny.

"Let's text Sheldon."

Penny found the number and waited.

He dictated: " _Hey buddy, Amy told Penny what happened. I wanted to check in to see how you're doing. I'm here for you if you need somebody to talk to."_

"Aren't you going to mention that we're concerned about Amy?" Penny asked, annoyed.

"That would just scare him off," Leonard explained. "First I have to get him to talk to me."

Meanwhile Leonard was slowing down to take the exit. They wound through the underpass and got back onto I-15 headed toward Los Angeles.

They waited a few minutes, but no response. Leonard looked troubled.

"It's only 10 on a Friday night, I know he's up. Call the apartment."

Penny called, but voicemail picked up on the fourth ring.

"Should I leave a message?" Penny whispered to Leonard.

"No, just hold the phone up to my ear," Leonard whispered back.

"Hi, Sheldon, it's me. Just wanted to see how you're doing. Give a call when you get a chance."

A few minutes later, Leonard's phone rang. Penny grabbed it, whispered "It's Sheldon," hit answer, and held it up to Leonard's ear.

"Hello?" Leonard said anxiously. Then again, "Hello? Sheldon, is that you? Sheldon, what's going on?"

Leonard looked at Penny, stunned. "He hung up. Didn't say anything. It almost sounded like he was crying."

Penny looked shocked. "Sheldon crying? This is bad. What are we going to do?"

"We'll be back there in an hour. Meanwhile, try to reach Bernadette for Amy, and Howard and Raj for Sheldon."

Penny dialed all three friends, but got voicemail for all. She left more or less identical messages, saying that something was up with Amy and Sheldon, that she and Leonard were worried, that they were on the road but would be back soon, that it would be good if somebody checked on them.

Leonard looked over at Penny. Penny looked back, a little startled. "What is it?"

"Well…you may not want to hear this," he said, "but you're an amazing friend, and to somebody that a lot of people find, well, different. It's one reason I love you so much. Sorry, not good timing, but true."

"Okay, okay, that's enough," Penny snorted, but not without a hint of affection. "Look at you and Sheldon – after the way he treats you, you're still there for him."

They were both quiet for a few minutes. Finally Leonard broke the awkward silence again.

"I hope you know how sorry I am, and how much you mean to me," he said softly. "I know I keep making a mess of things, but I'd do anything to make you happy."

"Well, staying away from drunken floozies in the North Sea would be a good start," Penny said with a snarl. "Look, I know you care for me. I just need some time to process all this. After all, you went two years keeping a pretty serious secret from me. That's hard to deal with." She could feel herself getting angrier as she spoke.

"I don't think I want to talk about it anymore right now," she finished, "it's getting me upset. Let's just focus on Amy and Sheldon."

"Okay," Leonard said with another sigh, and drove on.


	2. Chapter 2

They pulled up to Amy's building, parked and rushed to her apartment. Penny knocked.

"Amy? It's me, Penny."

"Go away! I need to do this!"

"Do what?" Penny asked anxiously.

"Never mind, just go away!"

Leonard and Penny looked at each other apprehensively.

"Amy! I'm really worried about you. If you don't open up I'm going to call 911. I'm serious!"

There was a pause, then Amy opened the door a crack.

"Oh, all right. You can come in. But you're not going to –"

Amy noticed that Leonard was there, hanging back in the hallway, as Penny stepped into the apartment.

"You're the last person I need to see now, it just makes it that much worse!" Amy snapped. "Leave me alone!"

Penny looked at Amy with astonishment, then back at Leonard. Leonard shrugged his shoulders helplessly, then said quickly, "Okay, I'll go check on the apartment. Text me if you need anything."

Penny nodded and closed the door behind her. When she turned back to Amy, she saw that there was a large suitcase on the floor behind the couch, half-full of clothing.

"What's going on, Amy?" Penny asked.

"I have to get out of here," Amy answered.

"Amy, let's talk. I know a little bit of what happened between you and Sheldon; he told us about it. But tell me the whole story."

Amy sat on the couch, her head in her hands. She paused, then began talking.

"It was our fifth anniversary, and we were kissing, and in the middle of it Sheldon asked me about some stupid television show. I was so frustrated I nearly cried, and the worst thing was he acted as though it was my fault. So I came home and thought about our relationship, and I decided that I had to take some time to clear my head and consider whether it was all worth it."

"I understand," said Penny, sympathetically.

"No, you don't" said Amy, almost shouting. "How could you? How could anyone? Five years, and it took four of them for me to get my first kiss. At this rate…" her voice shook. "I need more, I deserve more, and I just don't think Sheldon can give me more. He's still the same old Sheldon, and he will _never_ change."

Penny looked with concern at her friend. "You're right, I can't really know what it's like. Still, I do know that being with Sheldon has been very hard for you. It would be hard for anyone. And you have some tough decisions to make."

"But what about the suitcase, Amy?" Penny continued. "Where are you going to go?"

"I don't know," Amy's voice broke a little. "I just wanted to get away from here, from Sheldon, from everybody making snide remarks about us. But I don't really have any place to go. This is my home, and you guys are my only friends in the world. And if I break up with Sheldon, I know everybody will take his side. I don't know what to do…." Her voice trailed off miserably.

Penny put her hand on Amy's shoulder. "Amy, we just want what's best for you. Whether you're with Sheldon or not, you'll still be our friend. You'll still be _my_ friend. You don't need to go anywhere else to think this through. The best place is probably here, where you have your friends, your home, your work."

"You're right, I guess," Amy smiled. "Especially since I couldn't think of anyplace else to go. I'm not looking forward to the next few weeks, while I try to figure out what to do."

"Whatever you decide," Penny repeated, "we will be here for you, whenever you need us."

"Thanks, Penny. That's really important to me."

"Good." Penny stopped to think. She wanted to be supportive, but more than that she wanted to be helpful. "But can I tell you something? You might not want to hear it, but I think you should."

"OK," Amy said hesitantly.

"He's _not_ the same old Sheldon, and he _has_ changed," Penny said firmly. "I know it may not seem like it, but he has. Five years ago I don't think anyone of us would have imagined that he would have a girlfriend, that he could tell her he loved her, and that he would be able to kiss her – and to talk about it. A while back when I asked him point-blank whether he could see having a physical relationship with you, he said, "It's a possibility." He may be changing too slowly for you, and that's for you to figure out, but he is changing. You've changed him – a lot, and a lot more than I ever thought possible."

"I know, I guess," Amy said, "but I don't know if it's enough for me. I'm 32 years old and I'm still a virgin; and at this pace I might be a virgin until I'm 50 – if I'm lucky. I do love Sheldon, but it's torture waiting for him to grow up."

"I get that," Penny said. She stopped to consider whether to go on, then started up again. "There is one more thing I wanted to say. When Sheldon told us what happened, my reaction was just like yours: what an idiot. But Leonard was different. He took Sheldon seriously, and talked about how he understood how important that TV show was. At the time I thought he was being just as stupid as Sheldon, but now I've rethought it. Leonard knows Sheldon better than anyone, so I figured he knew what he was doing. And he was getting inside Sheldon's head to understand why he did what he did."

"He did what he did because he couldn't care less about me," Amy said bitterly. "What more do I need to know?"

"Well, that's one way to look at it," Penny continued carefully. "But that's not what Leonard was getting at. He was saying that if Sheldon starts to watch a show, he has to watch every episode as long as the show is on, even if it's for ten years. That makes it a big decision."

"Christ, Penny, it's a _television_ show – and about a superhero! I can't believe you're taking his side!" Amy exclaimed, hurt.

"I'm not taking his side," Penny explained patiently. "Just hear me out. It _is_ a big deal – to him. That's the point. Actually, Sheldon said that to me once, when I made fun of something I thought was trivial but that for him _was_ a big deal. And he was right. His mind works differently. Sometimes it's beautiful – you've told me many times how much you love the way his mind works. Sometimes it's just weird, in a way that only another Sheldon could really get – if there were another Sheldon," she said with a shudder.

"Here's the thing," Penny concluded. "You wouldn't want him to make fun of something you thought was important – like a physical relationship."

"I guess," Amy said cautiously, "but how can you compare a stupid TV show to intimacy in a relationship."

"You can't." Penny said. "Because they mean different things to different people. To Sheldon, that decision was really important. And to him, I think that asking your opinion showed that he wanted you to help him with an important decision, that you understood that it mattered to him. To you, going beyond kissing after five years is important, and you want him to understand that. I'm not saying the two things are equal. Just that in a relationship, sometimes, you have to try to focus on what the other person thinks is important, even if you think it's ridiculous. Even if it _is_ ridiculous, which with Sheldon it usually is."

"I know, I know. But it doesn't make my life any easier to know that my boyfriend might be stuck at an emotional age of 13 forever."

"That's where you're the only one who can decide what's right for you," Penny said gently. "But whatever you do, you know that we'll always be there for you. No matter what."

They were quiet for a minute, until Penny asked, "Feeling better, bestie?"

"Yes, a lot better. Thank you, Penny. You're a real friend." And Amy did really seem calm. "I still have a lot of thinking to do, but I guess I have a better perspective now."

"That's good," Penny sighed. And the two friends continued talking, more calmly now.


	3. Chapter 3

After leaving Penny at Amy's, Leonard rushed up to his and Sheldon's apartment.

"Sheldon? Sheldon, where are you?"

The lights were all out, but he could see the dim glow of the night light in Sheldon's bedroom. He walked down the hall and knocked softly on the door.

"Buddy, can I come in?" Leonard called quietly. There was no answer, but he cracked the door open enough to see Sheldon lying face down on the bed. Leonard came closer, cautiously.

"Sheldon, are you all right?" Leonard asked.

Sheldon looked up and Leonard stopped in his tracks. Sheldon's face was twisted in pain.

"Leonard, I'm not feeling well," Sheldon moaned. "My stomach hurts, my head hurts, I can't really think straight. I just don't understand…."

"It's okay, buddy, I'm here. Just tell me about it."

"I feel so helpless," Sheldon leaned up on his elbows and looked at Leonard. "I don't even know what I did wrong, really, and somehow Amy doesn't even want to see me, or talk to me. And I don't know what to do…."

"Penny's over there now with her," Leonard said, trying to reassure his friend. "I think Amy will be able to talk to you once she has some time to settle down."

"Okay," Sheldon said doubtfully. "I hope so."

And then, "Leonard…how do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Be a genius at relationships," Sheldon said.

Leonard thought he was kidding, but quickly saw that Sheldon was serious.

"What do you mean?"

"Do you remember that night when I told you how well Amy and I did on the relationship scale?" Sheldon started.

"An 8.2, as I recall," Leonard said with a wry smile.

"Afterwards I was saying to Amy that of course we would do well, we were two geniuses, or at least one and half. But she got angry, and said I might be a scientific genius, but I was a relationship moron. She said you were the relationship genius."

"Do you know what she meant?" Leonard asked.

"She said you always know what Penny is feeling, and you always know how to say the right thing or do the right thing. She said I needed to take relationship lessons from you. So can I?"

Leonard was startled. "Gee, I don't know if that's something you can teach."

"Don't be ridiculous," Sheldon scoffed, "if _you_ can do it, it can be taught."

"Gee, thanks," Leonard said; but he realized that Sheldon was serious. "Let me think." He paused for a few moments to collect his thoughts.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Amy's apartment**_

Amy and Penny had been talking for a few more minutes when Penny looked cautiously at Amy. "Can I ask you a question about something you said before? I'm just curious."

"Sure, what?"

"Why did you tell Leonard that he was the last person you wanted to see now?" Penny inquired.

Amy looked at her friend with bemusement. "For somebody who's so good at understanding people, sometimes I think you're blind when it comes to yourself."

"What do you mean?" Penny said, somewhat taken aback.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it as an insult. Here's why I said that. You know how much I care about you and Leonard, but there are times when I'm so envious of the two of you that I can't stand it. Leonard loves you so much, sometimes it hurts me. And he's so much in tune with you. You're the same with him: it's like you two know exactly what the other needs and wants, and you always have just the right word or gesture to help."

"By comparison, look at me: I'm with a man who doesn't have a clue what I need and, even worse, doesn't seem to care. So the last thing I wanted was Leonard around, sympathetic and loving and into you, to remind me of what I don't have and probably will never have." Amy was starting to get teary-eyed.

"Well," Penny said, thinking to cheer her friend up, "if it's any comfort, things are pretty rough between us now."

"Why?" Amy asked, surprised.

"I don't think you even noticed in my text when I said we were on our way to Las Vegas to get married," Penny began.

"What! Without telling any of us! That's crazy!"

"Well, maybe, but wait. In the car I said something about how great it was that we knew everything about each other, so that there were no surprises and we didn't have any secrets from each other. So then Leonard fessed up to one big one."

"Which was?"

"Apparently when he was on that ship in the North Sea, one night while he was drunk he kissed a girl. And he never told me until we were on our way to Vegas to get married."

"Ouch. That must have hurt. Did he say why he never told you?"

"No, and it doesn't matter. What matters is that he lied to me, and I really don't know if I can trust him now. I feel like somebody punched me in the stomach, and I don't know how to move forward. I know I should forgive him, but somehow I can't." Penny began to tear up herself. "I mean, what if he has other secrets from me?"

Amy looked at her friend pensively, then said quietly, "I know another thing that would surprise you; another secret he has kept from you."

"What?!" Penny say, shocked. "That bastard! Tell me!"

"I don't know. I promised Sheldon I would never tell you. Maybe I should just leave it alone."

"Amy, you know that's not going to happen. If you don't tell me I will beat you senseless. Spill. Ooh, that jerk!"

"OK, here goes. I think this happened a while after you guys met. You were broke, and Sheldon lent you money. But an ex-boyfriend owed you a bunch of money, too."

"Right, Kurt. But he paid me back right after that."

"I know. He paid you back because Leonard confronted him and insisted that he repay you."

"What?!" Penny was open-mouthed.

"And the guy apparently roughed Leonard up, then pinned him down, took a marker pen, and wrote 'I owe Penny $1800' on his forehead."

Penny's hand flew to her mouth in horror.

"Sheldon said Leonard had to wear a hat for three weeks, until the marker wore off," Amy finished.

"Omigod, I remember that stupid baseball cap," said Penny in a shaky voice. "I thought he was trying to look cool, and I made fun of him for three weeks for wearing it. Now I feel like an idiot."

Penny was trembling a little, and stopped to catch her breath.

"Why would he do that? And why would he not tell me?" Penny wondered out loud.

"I don't know," shrugged Amy. "I guess you should ask him."

Penny stared at her friend, still in shock. Amy looked back, bemused.

"Now it's my turn, bestie," she smiled. "I know Leonard did a really bad thing. But I also know that he loves you deeply. Sometimes I wonder if you know how lucky you are. Sure, you're beautiful, and talented, and smart. But you also have a really great boyfriend."

"Come on," scoffed Penny. "He's a nerdy, nearsighted weakling who's 5'6" – and then only in heels. I know everybody thinks I could do better."

"I suppose I should take that personally, as a nerdy nearsighted weakling myself." Amy joked. "Although I'm 5'6" in flats, so that's something. But I didn't mean he was a remarkable human specimen, the kind of man women dream of physically. I meant he was the kind of _boyfriend_ women dream of: the way he loves you, the way he treats you. You two have a special connection. Everybody that knows the two of you can see that. Don't lose sight of how unusual what you have is."

Penny sighed. "I guess you're right. Look at you, giving me relationship advice."

There was a frantic knock on the door, and a high-pitched voice came from the hallway.

"Amy, open up! It's Bernadette!"

Amy went to the door and opened it with surprise. Bernadette rushed in.

"Are you all right? I came as soon – " and she saw Penny.

"Penny!" exclaimed the little blonde. "I just got your message. My phone was off in the movie theater. Is everything all right?" She looked back and forth at Penny and Amy, then spied the suitcase on the floor.

Bernadette narrowed her eyes at Amy. "What's up with the suitcase?" she asked suspiciously.

Amy sighed a little and said, "I guess I don't need that now. I feel a lot better. Penny helped me settle down. But it's good to see you, Bernadette; thanks for coming over. Sit down and let's talk."

Amy and Penny started telling Bernadette all about what was going on with Sheldon. After a few minutes, though, Penny looked at the two women.

"Amy," she said cautiously, "is it all right if I leave you with Bernadette? She'll have lots of insights, I'm sure. After all, she's married to Howard Wolowitz."

"What's that supposed to mean?" snapped Bernadette.

"Nothing, nothing," Penny retreated. "But Amy, I sort of feel like I need to talk to Leonard."

Bernadette looked questioningly at Penny, then Amy. Amy signaled that she'd explain later. "Sure, go ahead, I'll be fine," Amy said.

"First fill me in," said Bernadette firmly. "What's going on with you and Leonard? Then Amy and I can go back to dealing with the Sheldon conundrum."

"Oh, all right. But just for a few minutes," Penny said, sinking back into the couch as she began to re-tell the events of the evening.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Apartment 4A**_

Leonard gathered his thoughts as he prepared to give his roommate a "relationship lesson," as Sheldon had called it.

"Let me ask you something. Do you want to make Amy happy?" Leonard started.

"Of course!" Sheldon huffed.

"I mean it in a very specific way: does it make you happy when Amy's happy?" Leonard repeated.

Sheldon stopped and thought. "Yes. And it makes me sad when she's sad."

"Good, that's the most important thing. So the way to make Amy happy is to try to figure out what she's feeling, and work with that."

"But how?" Sheldon asked, pleadingly. "How can you possibly know what somebody else is feeling? Most of the time I barely know what _I'm_ feeling!"

"It's not about theory or logic, Sheldon. Maybe that's your problem. It's an empirical matter. Nobody can really feel what another person feels, but you can interpret the evidence so as to estimate what's going on in another person's mind. You have to listen to what she says, see how she looks and moves, and try to infer what she feels." Leonard figured even a theoretical physicist had something to learn from an experimentalist.

"Let's take an example: this incident with you and Amy. Tell me exactly what happened."

Sheldon paused to access his eidetic memory. "We were kissing, and I asked her whether I should start watching the Flash TV series. That's what started it."

"What did she say? Word for word."

"She said, ' _That's_ what you're thinking about?' And I told her, 'Well, one of the things.' Then she said, 'Are any of them me?'" Sheldon was about to continue, but Leonard interrupted.

"Wait, stop. What could you infer from her asking ' _That's_ what you're thinking about?' in that tone."

"Umm," Sheldon thought hard, "that she didn't want me to be thinking about that?"

"Very good. And what about her asking if any of the things you were thinking about was her?"

"Umm," Sheldon paused for much longer, deep in thought. "That she wanted me to be thinking about her?"

"Bingo. So now how do you think she was feeling, knowing that she wanted you to be thinking about her, and not a TV show?" Leonard asked gently.

"She was feeling…ignored?" Sheldon said tentatively. "Like I wasn't paying enough attention to her?"

"That's probably right," Leonard agreed. "So now that you know how she was feeling, what could you have done to make her feel better?"

"Pay attention to her? Tell her I was sorry to have asked about the TV show? Give her a warm beverage?"

"Something like that," chuckled Leonard. "Probably the more important thing is that she gave you hints about what she was feeling, and what she wanted. You need to look and listen for those hints. Sometimes they're just a smile or a frown or a phrase, but they mean something. After a while, you can anticipate Amy's feelings. And then you can try to do things that you think are going to make her happy."

Sheldon was deep in thought. "But what if she doesn't want to see me ever again?" he said, his voice thick.

"Honestly," Leonard looked at him, "that's not something you can control. But if she does see you, and does agree to talk to you, you have to let her know that you realize you made mistakes, and that you want to do better. You do realize you made mistakes, don't you?"

"Yes, I guess so," Sheldon sighed. "Leonard, you really are a genius at relationships."

"Not so much," Leonard snorted. "You don't know how I made a complete mess of things with Penny tonight."

"What?!" Sheldon sat up straight. "I thought you were going to get married!"

"Me too. We came back because Penny was worried about Amy. But in the meantime I did a terrible thing. Well, two terrible things."

"What did you do?" Sheldon said with concern.

"I told Penny that one night when I was on that North Sea expedition, I kissed a girl."

"Oh, that's really bad. That's one thing; what's the other?" Sheldon asked.

"The other is that I didn't tell her for two years; I kept it secret until we were on the way to get married."

Sheldon looked thoughtful. Then he asked Leonard, "How do you think that made Penny feel?"

Leonard laughed. "You always were a quick learner. But let's try it out on you. You immediately said what I did was really bad. Why? Did it make you feel bad?"

Sheldon thought again. "Yes. It made me feel like you lied to me. That you had betrayed me a little, even though it was Penny, not me. But Penny is my friend and I know she wouldn't want you to be kissing another girl. Why _did_ you kiss another girl, anyway?"

"Never mind about that, Sheldon; maybe someday you'll understand. I'm not sure I do, actually. But the important thing is that I think you have it exactly right. Penny probably feels betrayed, and that she can't trust me. Now what do you think I should do?"

"Are you seriously asking me for relationship advice, Leonard?"

"I seriously am. I'm really not sure that I know how to make this better. And if you feel betrayed, then you are in a position to help me figure out how to help her – and you – overcome this."

Sheldon sat very still and closed his eyes. "I guess it's not that complicated. We can't change the past – yet," he hastened to add. "But you can try to make her feel that you understand what you did was wrong, and that you won't do it again. But I'm not sure how to get her to believe you."

"Would you believe me if I told you how sorry I was and that I won't do it again?" Leonard asked Sheldon.

Sheldon looked at Leonard with his innocent eyes. "Yes. I would. Because I know that you are an honest man. A good man. And nobody's perfect – yet."

"Thank you, Sheldon. That means a lot to me. I hope Penny is as forgiving as you are."

"I hope so, too. I don't know what I would do if you two broke up again. Sometimes I feel like you and Penny are the only people in the world who understand me at all – and I'm not so sure about you."

"I know," Leonard said wistfully. "She's a very special person. And I went and did my best to ruin things with her."

"I think it will work out," Sheldon said. "I agree with what Amy said. You two have a very special bond, and I think it would take a lot more than this to break it. At least I hope so."

There was a knock at the door. Howard and Raj called together, "Sheldon! Open up!"

Leonard went to the door and ushered the other two into Sheldon's bedroom. As they walked down the hall, he whispered, "He was very upset because Amy said she didn't want to see him anymore, at least for a while. But he's calmer now."

The three men walked into Sheldon's room. But Sheldon jumped out of bed.

"This is too many people in my room. Let's go to the living room."

The four of them sat around the kitchen island as Leonard made them mint tea. Sheldon began to explain the situation as Howard and Raj listened intently. Leonard's phone pinged with a message from Penny.

"Hey, guys, I have to go pick Penny up at Amy's. Sheldon, are you going to be all right with these two?" he asked.

"Sure," Sheldon said. He looked worried. "Can you bring Penny here? I want to know how Amy is doing."

"Of course," Leonard said as he left.


	6. Chapter 6

Leonard knocked cautiously on Amy's door. Amy opened the door and Leonard stepped back defensively.

"Amy, whatever I did to offend you, I'm really sorry," Leonard began.

Amy laughed. "Leonard, it's all right. I apologize for yelling at you. It wasn't anything you did, I was very upset. But I'm better now. Your fiancée has helped me put things into perspective." Amy said the last sentence slowly and with a lot of emphasis, dragging out the words "fiancée" and "into perspective," glancing at Penny as she did. Penny grimaced.

Penny said goodbye to Bernadette and Amy, who were engrossed in comparing Howard and Sheldon, and walked out with Leonard.

"So, how did it go?" Leonard asked.

"She's got some big decisions to make, that's for sure," Penny said. "Sheldon had better shape up, I can tell you that. I think Amy is really tired of waiting. She still loves that lunatic, but she's not going to wait 20 years for him to grow up. How about with you? What's up with Sheldon?"

"I just had the most intense conversation with him I've ever had. It was draining. Really, what he wanted was to understand what he had done wrong, and how to fix it." Leonard paused.

"Seriously? After all that, he doesn't know?" Penny practically sneered.

"Come on, you know he's trying. He really wants to make Amy happy, he just doesn't know how. So we talked about feelings, and how to recognize them. I think he's getting better, and he really is doing his best."

"I guess so, but he's going to have to step up the pace – Amy is tired of waiting." Penny concluded.

They got into Leonard's car and started back to their building.

Leonard glanced at Penny. "What did Amy mean when she said I was the last person she wanted to see, that I made it worse? What did I do?"

Penny sighed. "If I tell you, you'll just get a swell head. And that's the last thing you deserve right now. A swollen lip, maybe."

Leonard looked at her, "All right, I know I deserve that, but come on, let me hear it. I could use some cheering up."

"Oh, fine," Penny started. "She thinks you're just about the perfect boyfriend, always attentive to what I need. And she didn't want to be reminded that Sheldon is sort of the opposite. She said we had a special connection, and I guess that's what she misses with Sheldon."

Leonard listened, then added, "Interesting. Sheldon sort of told me the same thing. Apparently Amy called me a relationship genius. Of course, she doesn't know all the things I've done to destroy our relationship," he said sadly.

"Oh, she does now, believe you me," Penny snapped.

"I deserve that, too, I know," Leonard said, shaking his head.

They walked up the four flights of stairs and into Apartment 4A. Howard and Raj were still at the kitchen island with Sheldon, giving him self-confident tips about how to get along with women. Penny and Leonard looked at each other and rolled their eyes.

Sheldon looked at the door and saw Penny. He jumped up and practically ran to her.

"How is Amy? Is she willing to talk to me? Can you get her to see me? I really want to tell her how sorry I am," Sheldon was practically begging.

"Whoa, sweetie, slow down," Penny held his arm. "Amy's going to need some time. But I think she'll be willing to listen to you – if you listen to her first."

Sheldon sat down on the couch, looking forlorn.

Penny looked at him fondly. "Don't worry, Sheldon. I'm sure a smart guy like you can figure out how stupid you've been, and how to make it better."

"I know, Penny," Sheldon said, "I plan to try. But I miss her."

Penny bent down and kissed him on the top of his head. "I know. Now, are you all right, sweetie? Because Leonard and I have to talk."

"I'm getting some good ideas about how to treat women from Howard and Raj. I'll be fine," Sheldon nodded.

Penny looked dubious and Leonard raised his eyebrows at that, but they walked out of the apartment and across the hall.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Apartment 4B**_

"OK, you. Sit down," Penny ordered Leonard as they walked in the door of her apartment.

Leonard sat meekly, Penny opposite him on the couch.

Leonard looked at her sadly. "I don't know what to say, Penny. I failed you. I failed myself. I endangered the most important thing in my life – our relationship. I only hope that you believe me when I tell you how sorry I am, and how intent I am on never letting anything like this happen again. Ever."

Penny looked at Leonard, her eyes narrow. "I know you're sorry, and I know you mean it. But this was a real shock to me. I thought you were different from other guys.'

Leonard looked like he'd been slapped. But he kept quiet. Penny instantly regretted what she had said.

"That's not fair. You _are_ different from other guys. I know that. But I need to try to deal with the hurt. I mean, you kept something secret from me that was really important, and you kept it secret from me for _two years_. How do I know you don't have any other secrets – even bigger ones, kept from me for a longer time?" Penny's eyes shone as she said this, knowing that Leonard was about to blunder into her trap.

"I promise you, there are no secrets, none!" Leonard protested in despair.

"Liar!" Penny bounced up on the couch.

"What?!" Leonard slumped back in shock.

"I know that you got Kurt to pay me back the money he owed me. And I know that he beat you up and wrote on your forehead. And I know that you never told me, and let me believe that he repaid me because he had a sudden attack of conscience."

Leonard jumped up from the couch at the first sentence, getting more agitated with every phrase. "How did you…Amy! But how did she…I'm going to kill Sheldon!"

"Leave those two out of it," Penny said, laughing. And seeing her laugh relaxed Leonard a little. "I threatened to beat it out of Amy, and you know Sheldon can't keep a secret."

"Calm down," Penny continued. "That was a long time ago. And anyway, I think it was pretty great of you, and I am not really mad at you for not telling me. I do feel guilty for teasing you about that baseball cap, now that I know the real reason you were wearing it. But I _am_ really curious. I thought I knew you pretty well. But I never would have imagined that you would stand up to a bully like Kurt and not tell me, or have him do what he did to you and not mention it. Don't you think I deserve the truth?" she added, somewhat cattily.

"Of course I think you deserve the truth," Leonard said carefully. "But we weren't dating or anything then; you were just our neighbor, and there were more important principles involved."

Now Penny was really curious. "Principles? What were they? Seriously, Leonard, explain it."

"You'll just laugh at me," Leonard frowned.

"I promise I won't," Penny said seriously. "I really want to understand."

"Well, I guess you know I really liked you," Leonard said, with an embarrassed smile. "And maybe more. And I wanted you to like me too – and maybe more. But I didn't want you to like me out of pity. If I told you what happened, I would have been asking you to admire my bravery, or to feel sorry for my having been, well, inscribed. And I didn't want to be cadging your thanks or your pity. I wanted you to like me for me."

Penny looked at her fiancé, some of the anger fading. "You _are_ brave, in your own way. You fight for what you believe, in your work. You fought for me. And you help me fight my battles. That's a lot more useful than getting beat up for me. Don't sell yourself short. So to speak."

"Ha, ha, very funny. But thanks. The point is that back then what I wanted most of all was for you to like _me_ , the short nerdy guy across the hall. It wasn't easy, because part of me didn't really believe that anyone like you could ever fall in love with somebody like me."

"And yet I did," Penny said softly.

"And yet you did," Leonard repeated, somewhat sadly. "But look what it got you: I keep screwing things up, so maybe it doesn't make sense for somebody like you to be with somebody like me," he said miserably.

"Stop beating yourself up," Penny said. "That's my job. And believe me, you're going to take a hell of a beating for that drunken kiss. I still have trouble getting my mind around it – and especially around your keeping that from me for two years."

"I know," Leonard shook his head. "I was so scared that if I told you, you'd break up with me. I suppose I still have trouble believing that you could love the real me."

"Nobody's perfect, Leonard." Penny said seriously. "I'm not perfect. You're not perfect. Lord knows, tonight was a reminder of that. But you take responsibility for your actions, especially the dumb ones, and you try to make up for them. That's important to me," Penny replied, looking intently at Leonard and his averted eyes.

"Can I tell you a little secret of my own?" Penny said tentatively.

"Ooh, please do!" Leonard said with a little smile.

"When you were with Priya, I was a mess. I knew I'd made a mistake breaking up with you," she began.

"Really?" Leonard said incredulously. "I never knew you thought that."

"Well, I did. But all that time I had a feeling, a hope, that we might get back together someday. And I promised myself that if we ever _did_ get back together, I wouldn't let you go. I had never been with a guy who treated me like you did, like you do. I know it sounds sappy, but I felt like I had missed my chance at true love. And I didn't want to miss it again."

"Wow," Leonard exhaled slowly. "I had no idea. I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. Just remember that I do love you. Look," Penny continued, "I'm still angry about that bitch on the boat. And we're going to have to work that out. But Amy is right: we do have a special connection, and that is too important to throw away because of one mistake – even a pretty bad one."

Leonard hung his head.

"That's enough of that!" Penny said, making an effort to put some cheer in her voice after a difficult night. "Just remember what I'm saying. We've had plenty of fights and disagreements. They're not going to end just because we are engaged, and they're not going to end once we are married. But I have never stopped wanting you in my life. And I never will."

"Thank you," Leonard said, softly, and Penny could see his eyes begin to moisten.

They were silent for a few moments. Penny looked at the clock. "Wow, it's almost 2 AM. And to think I was expecting a quiet evening at home. Maybe I'll get myself a drink. Want one?" she said as she got up slowly.

She walked over to the liquor shelf and stared at the bottles next to the calendar. Leonard got up and leaned on the kitchen counter, waiting for her to make a choice.

Instead, Penny continued to stare at the shelf, as a little smile curled her lips. She turned to Leonard and said casually, "What about November 15th?"

"What about it?" Leonard replied, confused.

"Does it work for you?" Penny asked.

"Work for wha—" Leonard stepped back with a start as he saw the grin overspread Penny's face. "You mean…."

"Black tie, in a church, two friends each, no butterflies," Penny continued.

"It sounds perfect," said Leonard, and Penny could see, even feel, his whole body relax.

"It truly does," she confirmed, and stepped over to kiss Leonard softly.

As their kiss became increasingly passionate, she guided him gently toward the bedroom.


End file.
